Where did sports go?

King Arthur

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! Where’d you get the coconuts? Burn her anyway! Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. Well, how’d you become king, then?

Sir Lancelot

Did you dress her up like this? We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us. Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical!

  • Burn her!
  • Now, look here, my good man.
  • What a strange person.

Am I right?

But you are dressed as one… We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us. We want a shrubbery!!

King Arthur

It’s only a model. Who’s that then? Well, I didn’t vote for you. What a strange person. The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. And the hat. She’s a witch!

  1. The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
  2. Shut up! Will you shut up?!
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First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

He hasn’t got shit all over him. We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us. Burn her anyway! Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! The nose? Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

What do you mean? We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us. It’s only a model. Well, we did do the nose. The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.

Look, my liege! Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. Well, what do you want?

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